Missing FMA
I was ridding my computer of unneeded stuff, when I came across several folders that contained my files when I was still employed at the Foundation for Media Alternatives. The FMA job was my first brush with the NGO world, and it was only upon opening these old files that I realized how extensive the experience I gained from working there was.
The first folder I opened held my “MS Word Presentation” files. Memories of the training day all came rushing back. How I loved teaching those workers the basics of using word processors!
After sorting through my MS Word Presentation files, a folder labeled “Island Workshops” caught my eye. I couldn’t even remember what these files were about. I felt like an idiot when I opened a file and realized that it was my Communication Rights presentation! Around this time last year, I went to Cebu and Davao for the Island Workshops on Media Governance headed by the Center for Community Journalism and Development. My boss, Al, had to go on a business trip so I was the one tasked to represent FMA and discuss the Communication Rights framework to groups of journalists in Visayas and Mindanao (and eventually at the Linden Suites in Ortigas for the Luzon group).
Lugging the bulky (and heavy!) office laptop ,the Toshiba formerly owned by my boss, I flew to Cebu on my own. That was the very first time I rode a plane by myself. I stayed in Cebu for only one day. My first time in a Visayan city, and the only places I saw were the hotel conference room, the Gaisano Mall (believe me, every major provincial town has it!), and the roads leading to and from Mactan Airport. The day after, we flew to Davao.
I remember how I felt so young (and shy and utterly inexperienced!) in a roomful of middle-aged professionals. I managed to pull my weight somehow, with some participants just uninhibitedly telling me, “That was an excellent presentation!” *kilig* Nonetheless, I was also well aware that there was still so, so, so much to learn.
I recall how uncomfortable it was to present before the journalists in Davao. I thought it was because they sensed that I was quite unfamiliar with the topic I was discussing. The next day, however, as we were getting ready to fly back to Manila, Sir Red and Ms. Girlie expressed that they too felt that the Mindanao reporters were not as receptive as those in Cebu. They explained to me that journalists in Davao have always been skeptical of lecturers/ speakers from Manila. Well, when you have been struggling against misrepresentation, unfair judgment, and lack of attention all your life, I think it is but understandable if you become wary of people who belong to the group who did such things to you.
Without need for second thought, I could still say that my participation in the Island Workshops was one of the highlights of my stay in FMA.
In January, I was told by Al to go to Bayombong (yes, up, up North in Nueva Vizcaya!) to train a group of human rights activists there on how to use an online tool designed for the documentation of human rights violations. Of course, conducting trainings is always, always a welcome thing for me and is something I would always, always agree to do. The only problem then was I was not even close to being familiar with the software! The only experience I had in using it was when I participated in a one-day training about 4 months before I was asked to go to Bayombong. That training was conducted by Jay, a former FMA employee. How on earth could I possibly recall all that Jay taught us in one day, especially since I didn’t really have to use the software after that?! To make things worse, I was supposed to teach these computer newbies about a later software version that I myself had never used in my entire life! About two days prior to the training, the FMA IT consultant, Sir Bombim, tried to teach me all that he could. And, mind you, not only did I have to teach them how to use the software, I likewise had to discuss its early beginnings , its entry to the Philippines, and FMA’s role in the whole process!
Al was really nervous about me going to Bayombong by myself (especially since it’s about 7 hours away from Manila) and wanted Mang Nards, the office messenger, to go with me. I felt sorry for the old man, and I thought it would be quite weird being with him on a 7-hour bus ride. It’s a good thing Raz, perennially eager to embark on anything unfamiliar, volunteered to accompany me.
I do not want to say mean things, but the room we slept in just sucked. First of all, there was only one bamboo bed (oo, sa Tagalog, ito ay ang tinatawag nating papag) that had a cushion which was about 2 centimeters thick. I was quite irked because I told them beforehand that there were two us arriving. The organizers tried to bring in a folding bed, but it wouldn’t stand! So, poor Raz had to sleep on a mat on the floor.
All jittery about the presentation which I did not at all feel ready for, I woke up at around 4 AM and reviewed my notes. After I took a shower, I looked around and peeked in some of the rooms. To my slight dismay, I saw that the participants slept on beds! With cushions! While I, a speaker who was not even getting compensation or honorarium for this, slept on a papag! I tried not to think about it, though, as we went down for breakfast.
Raz, who was then wearing a sando, had no plans of listening to the discussion and no longer bothered to change. As the participants started coming in, he laughingly whispered to me, “I think I’m overdressed!” And he was not exaggerating. The participants were in house clothes! Some were even smoking right there in the workshop area. I kept thinking to myself, “Waaa! Hindi uubra kay Al ang ganito!” Not the smokers in the venue. Not the papag for speakers. Not the organizers in house clothes. Back at FMA, if you were our visitor or conference attendee, we will do everything within our capacity to ensure that you are comfortable (naks, parang copy for a hotel ad ah). Needless to say, Al was really pissed when he found out that they made me sleep on the papag.
As for my discussion proper, it went relatively well (although, admittedly, about a quarter of the time I really wasn’t sure of what I was talking about. Hehehe). Raz, realizing that his outfit is not out of place at all, decided to stay. He even helped me answer some of the participants’ questions. I only felt a little pissed with the Executive Directress of the organizing group . She asked me questions in such a haughty, condescending manner. As if she were addressing a kid, or someone dimwitted. After my talk, the other organizers approached me and profusely apologized for their ED’s behavior. “She is in her bitch mode again,” they said. However, when we bid her goodbye, she shook our hands and was all nice. I still told Al about what she did, though. And her behavior towards me was one of the reasons he wanted to write to them. FMA was actually doing them a favor by helping them in their training. Not like they are paying us for it. I was actually tempted to have them shoulder Raz’s travel fare, but decided against it, seeing how apparently small their budget is (actually, I just sort of figured that out after they made me sleep on the papag). When my talk was over, we didn’t even wait for the graduation ceremony. We hurriedly left. We wanted to check out the town further, but when we asked around for nearby beaches or tourist spots, we were told that there was none. We took a bus back to Manila in a jiffy. Bayombong is just about one of the few boring places in the Philippines, I realized.
Other highlights of my FMA stay were the R & R (rest and recreation) trip to Tagaytay. We hiked to Taal, and then we went to the Al’s ancestral home in Cavite. We spent the night there, just laughing and drinking and bonding. I think all of us were able to join. Mama Cel, Mama Bear Joy, Mang Nards, Nina, Adel, Tune, and Al. Then there’s the Communication Rights Workshop, where we stayed 5 days at the Linden Suites. Then there’s our Christmas Party at Banana Leaf. The move to the new office. Sigh…
I miss FMA terribly. I miss the people. I miss my job. How we were selling ideas and advocacies to people–not whitening products, stretch mark removers, satellite TV, call cards or food baskets. Really, I have no complaints about my job now. I am learning so many new skills here, too. But then again, I know in my heart that there are other things I’d rather do, if only I have the means and the capacity to.
Thank heavens I was able to keep a backup of my FMA files. They serve as reminders of things I really want to do soon as this “gaining leverage” phase is over.
