After months of delaying, I finally brought my laptop to the repair shop in Megamall to have my charger checked. Since August or September, I have been stressing over the absence of this very important gadget, especially since I work as a writer not only for the company where I am officially employed, but for different clients as well.

I did not immediately bring it to the shop because a) I was dreading the extra costs (when I first inquired, I was advised that a charger repair would cost me ate least 2,500), b) I was too lazy to bring my laptop to Megamall (well, it’s actually not the lightest laptop in the world), and c)I didn’t trust any ordinary repair shop and wanted to bring it only to a place I know wouldn’t be a waste of precious bucks.

Turns out the friggin’ cord for the charger got torn and just had to be replaced! Sheesh. The lady in the repair shop did not even charge me anything. She just advised me to go to Ace Hardware and buy a new cord there. Dahil nahiya naman ako na hindi ko sya babayaran for her effort to check my laptop, I offered to buy the cord from her. She just said, “Ma’am, pag dito, 400 plus po ang cord. Mas mura sa Ace Hardware.” Buti na lang mabait sya at hindi sya madaya.

Aysus. Kurdon lang naman pala ang problema. Nag-dusa pa ako ng napakatagal. Had I brought my unit the first time I noticed the problem, then I wouldn’t have suffered unnecessarily!

This experience made me think about other things that caused me undue torment simply because I chose to procrastinate and it put off the task for as long as I could. I have always been, and will probably always be, a hopeless crammer. I read somewhere that the brain works faster and more efficiently with adrenaline rush—I guess that explains why I’m at my prime and get my best thoughts when the deadliest deadline is just hours away. This used to work really well when I was a student. I’d sleep all day and wake up at dawn to review. I didn’t do my reports or my papers until I was left with no other choice but to will myself to face the computer and write.

Now that I am working, I am being forcibly taught the value of having an early start. And that, unlike in school where I am the only one who’d suffer for missed deadlines, in the real world, you have people—from your boss all the way down to your teammates– breathing down your neck when you are unable to deliver work when it is expected and how it is expected. Mr. James, a former officemate, would always chide me about my work ethics. He used to be a project partner, and I always got us in trouble because I worked oh-so-slow. Whenever he’d tease me about my writing speed, I’d retort, “Eh quality naman!” The he’d answer plainly, “What will I do with quality when the deadline’s two weeks ago?” 

I also realized that I am also probably this way even with relationships. As I grew, I’ve chosen to become less confrontational, less argumentative, more detached. Kung pwedeng wag na lang pag-usapan and go on like nothing happened, I’d rather have it that way. When I’ve hurt someone and even though inside I’m dying to apologize and patch things up, I let paranoia get the better of me, and delay my apology for as long as I could. “I’d call/text/write later/ tomorrow/ next week/ next month/ on your birthday/ on Christmas….” Then, just like any wound or leak or crack that is not mended, plugged, or fixed at the soonest time possible, it gets worse and worse, until you realize that the misunderstanding has gone from minor to irreparable. 

Hence, I vow to be more responsible. I vow to be braver in big and small things alike. I will no longer let life pass me by just because I am too lazy or complacent, or I am too scared.

In retrospect, I guess any person, thing, task, situation that’s unfamiliar would always seem too intimidating and daunting when assessed from afar. Only when you push yourself to overcome your fear of the unknown would you realize that it is not as big as you initially thought. 

When I worked as a researcher/ writer for a magazine, there were times when I would be sent to interview politicians and journalists. I remember an interview that I particularly dreaded—with Atty. Frank Chavez, a person whose name I only heard before in news clips. When the day of the interview came, me, the idiot, was just so unprepared! I did not have a tape recorder, my questions were forgettable…sigh! But sitting in his office, I felt like a kid listening to her lolo tell stories of magic. Mr. Chavez made for a great interviewee, very articulate, very intelligent (my hand could barely keep up as I wrote down his answers!). Right then and there, I realized that everyone, even big-time politicians or artists, are human beings just like you and me. And, as the cliché goes, they each have a story to tell. Hence, I feel honored to have been given the opportunity to ask them about their stories and write about them. After that experience, I felt less scared of conducting interviews—armed with the knowledge that these people, no matter how big they may seem to appear—are human beings just like me.

Sa mga mahilig mag-senti, check out this cool site! I’m sure makaka-relate kayo dito, lalo na yung mga nasa edad 30 pataas (Mr. James, isa ka na dito. Hehehe!)

Most of the stuff, I do not really get kasi maraming circa-70s. Pero amusing pa rin. Go ahead and see what Nostalgia Manila is all about!

A rare lazy Sunday yesterday.

I was channel-hopping when I chanced upon Jerry Maguire on HBO. It’s not really on my list of favorite flicks, but I sure love the dialogue (before the lines, “You complete me” and “You had me at hello” became old and oh-so-overused) and I truly adore the kid who played Ray. This got me thinking (again) about love, relationships, and all other things connected to it.

Oddly, watching Jerry Maguire brought on memories of other similarly-themed movies. Naisip ko na ang dami-dami palang pelikulang may friends-turned-lovers/ enemies-turned-lovers plot, at halos lahat ng mga ito ay talagang pumatok!

Nangunguna na siguro sa listahan ang My Best Friend’s Wedding starring Julia Roberts. Panalo sa kilig at kurot sa puso ang pelikulang ito. Ang galing pa kung paano napagmukhang kontrabida ang bida, na pagdating sa dulo, hindi na tuloy malinaw sa iyo bilang audience kung na-kanino ba ang sympathy mo.

Sa enemies-turned-lovers theme naman,  I especially like the Star Cinema classic, May Minamahal, with Aiko Melendez (na sexy pa noon) and Aga Muhlach. This movie also adopts the mahirap-mayaman/langit-ka-lupa-ako type of romance. Maraming cliché, pero mas maraming kilig moments. Pinaka-naaalala ko sa movie na ‘to yung scene na nasa duyan si Aiko and Aga, and Aga said, “I love you” for the first time, before breaking out into embarrassed laughter and exclaiming, “Baduy!”

Another Star Cinema fave is Sharon Cuneta and Aga Muhlach’s Kung Ako Na Lang Sana. I really loved this film, except for the fact na hindi bagay physically sina Sharon at Aga kasi mukha silang mag-tiyahin. Pero panalo ang screenplay! 

Because of the sheer increase in the number of films and TV drama series that follow such love plots, you couldn’t help but wonder if almost, if not all, have experienced some dilemma brought about by an involuntary falling for a friend or for a person one initially despised.

Kahit sa TV drama, local or international, laging hit na hit ang ganitong themes. Former rivals/ enemies or best friends na nagka-in love-an despite all odds. Ross and Rachel of Friends. Ben and Ally in Ally McBeal. Ultimo sina Dorina at Oman in Bituing Walang Ningning. Tapos alam mo kung ano ang pinaka-panalong I-love-you-best-friend quote for me? It’s from the series, Smallville, yung sinabi ni Chloe sa best friend nyang si Clark when he was lying unconscious in a hospital. Chloe said, “I want to let you in on a secret. I’m not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I’m surprised you haven’t seen right through me. I’m the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend…”  AWWW.

It is no different in real life. Susme, kahit saan ka yata lumingon, meron at meron kang mahahanap na girl, boy, bakla, tomboy (butiki-baboy) na may storya about falling in love with a close friend. There’s a very, very thin line separating a purely platonic relationship with a romantic one. A tight friendship between two people from the opposite sex is in itself already very special (not to say that girl-girl or boy-boy best friendship is not, but in my opinion, boy-girl best friends are just really something else). Add to that constant close proximity and an unspoken exclusivity and it wouldn’t take long for emotional dependency to follow. All of a sudden, you begin to feel like there’s a void when the person is not around. “Asan ka? Baket hindi ka tumawag/nag-page/nag-text? Pinuntahan kita, pero wala ka don. Sinong kasama mo?” Para kayong mag-jowa pero hindi. Then panic creeps in. Napapa-hirit ka na sa sarili mo ng, “What’s happening to me?!”

At first there’s denial. Then you start to consider the possibilities, before you finally accept the predicament you’ve gotten yourself into. Does acceptance make things simpler? Not at all. It further complicates things. Because then you begin searching between the lines for subliminal meanings that may not even be there. You read into every word, every action, yearning to find the smallest clue that might reveal how the other person feels towards you. Wala naman yatang na-in love na hindi umasa.   

Ang susunod na challenge is keeping a straight face kahit kinikilig. O naiinis. O nagseselos. Tapos yung pag-maintain ng friendship kahit gusto mo na lang mag-disappear para makalimutan mo na sya. Hahaha! But you know that that would be unfair, cause you also have certain responsibilities as a friend. Kahit gusto mo nang magpaka-layo-layo so you could move on, you know it wouldn’t be right to just walk away simply because you couldn’t keep your feelings at bay. So you stay. And the agonizing saga continues…    

Next dilemma: To tell or not to tell. That is the question. Personally, I think it depends on the kind of relationship you have and your own level of maturity. When I was younger, I sort of “blurted out” my feelings for a really close friend. Not that it was planned, but it is still something I do not regret, even now. The night after that, he called and said, “I just wanted to let you know that it’s okay,” (siguro mejo nag-panic din sya cause I was really at a loss after that slip), tapos nag-usap pa rin kami like usual. The days that followed were no different. This is the kind of friendship I am telling you about. We both acknowledged na nakakailang talaga yung nangyari, but we decided to face it head-on, instead of pretending none of it ever happened. I have to give it to him, too. He was never dismissive about the entire thing. Nor did he trivialize what I told him as something that would just pass or “wala lang.” If you’re confident that your relationship is already at that level at that your friend treasures you more than silly “ilang”, then you can trust that you wouldn’t lose him/her regardless of what you decide to confess. I didn’t. In fact, we are still very good friends to this day. Sya yung tipong ha-hunting-in ko at kukunin kong Ninong ng anak ko kahit matagal ko syang di makita or kung nasang lupalop man sya ng earth nandon. Ganyan. J 

Moving on to another topic. Merong mas mahirap sa “I fell in love with my best friend” scenario. Ito ay ang “I am gay and I fell in love with my straight friend” scenario. I have a gay friend who had feelings for a girl pal. He said he found it weird that he couldn’t pursue her because, “Well, she’s a girl!” So ibig sabihin ba nito hindi na kayo pwede kasi bakla ka at dapat ang bakla ay para lang sa bakla din? Kay lungkot naman. In the same way that men and women are, technically, looked down upon by the conservatives in society when they choose to have relationships with someone from the same sex, gays who fall in love with those from the opposite sex are, again, burdened with an implicit need to prove the sincerity of their feelings. Parang ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situation ito. Hindi ka pwede ma-in love sa lalaki, kasi lalaki ka din. Pero pag na-establish mo na na bakla ka, hindi ka rin pwede ma-in love sa babae kasi nga, being gay, dapat hindi kayo talo! Ang classic TV dramas na lagi kong naaalala sa ganitong usapan eh yung Maalaala Mo Kaya episodes na Aiza Seguerra-Patrick Garcia (akala ni Patrick tomboy si Aiza, yun pala, hindi!), and yung Keempee de Leon-Manilyn Reynes (bading si Keempee at na-in love siya sa straight girl na si Manilyn).

Sigh.

Eh baket nga ba may boundaries ang love? If you’ve read Arundhati Roy’s God of Small Things, the author wrote about the negativities of living in a society that “tells you who to love, and how, and how much.” Why can’t we just love who we will, freely and with abandon?   

The past few months really have been replete with more blessings than I can catch up with! But, hey, who’s complaining? J 

I’m a travel buff, and I’d sure be traveling more if I could afford it. Starting October this year, I’ve been going on out-of-town trips almost every two weeks. I just came from Davao when an offer to go to Camarines Sur came up. I went to the Camsur Watersports Complex, the first-ever Cable Wakeboarding Nationals was held, and I was blessed with the privilege of writing scripts for three of their major events.

Nakakakilabot nga how I got this project. Sobrang blessing talaga ni God. I volunteered for the church’s Magazine Ministry, then was asked to email my resume. When they found out I was a scriptwriter by profession, they asked me to also be part of the Media Ministry, the church’s arm that produces our AVPs. After a series of meetings, the Pastor’s secretary texted me one day to say that she referred me to another church member who was looking for an events writer.

I thought it was just for some small party or concert, but when I spoke with one of the organizers, I was told that it was a wakeboarding competition and that it would be held in Bicol. But the blessing doesn’t end there. As we were negotiating the TF, she also offered free roundtrip fare and accommodations to the Camsur Watersports Complex as a bonus! I was really surprised because these people have never met me, nor have they seen any of my work, yet they were putting this much trust in me. In my head, I kept saying, “Thank you, Lord! You’re really spoiling me now!” 

I must admit I still lack confidence when it comes to writing for events. Prior to this, I’ve done only one event script (it’s for some company Christmas Party), and most of the stuff I’ve written are for TVCs and AVPs. But that one project in Camsur had me writing for a Wakeboarding competition, a Reggae dance party, and a rock band concert! I had to pray as I wrote each script, asking for inspiration and so that I could still be creative in a field I am not at all familiar with. And the Lord has been truly gracious.   

October 28 – Saturday

With my head still spinning from the stress caused by the previous day’s shoot and a late night-out with my Econ barkada at Fernwood Gardens (our friend, Dada, is one of the Philippine Youth Ambassadors for an ASEAN fellowship program), I crawled out of bed and walked to Robinson’s Galleria for the National Quiz Bee taping. Isa na naman itong maghapon ng pag-tunganga kasi tapos ko na naman ang script at wala nang kailangang isulat. I left at 4 PM. The next three hours was a dizzying rush to finish one more script, buy all I need for the trip, go back home to pack my stuff, and head for the bus station in Cubao.

Ang ganda pala ng Isarog Bus Line! It was my first time to ride on a bus with Lazyboy seats! Less than an hour after the bus pulled out of the parking area, borlogs na agad ako sa sobrang pagod. The next thing I knew, 8 hours had passed we’re already at the Naga Central Bus Terminal.    

October 29 – Sunday

I met the organizers and crew for the first time. I was slightly disappointed to find out that the Camsur Watersports Complex (CWC) had a man-made beach and not a real one. And this was solely for Wakeboarding lang, so goodbye to my sea-wading fantasies. Nonetheless, it was also fun just sitting near the water and watching the wakeboarders. My balance is always way off and I know I would never be good at a sport like wakeboarding, water skiing, or knee boarding, which are all featured sports in CWC kaya manghang-mangha ako don sa mga contenders!

Ang dami ring media people covering the event. I even saw the Sports Unlimited crew there. Dati pa ko impressed sa local governance in Bicol, especially with the performance of the Mayor of Naga and the LGUs in Sorsogon, but it was only then that I heard of the nice things the Camsur governor is doing for the province. Kung mahilig kayo sa water sports or Motocross (I think meron din silang dirt roads devoted for this sport), you guys should really check out CWC. Punta na kayo don habang sobrang mura pa!

October 30 – Monday

First time kong magkaron ng official paid leaves sa aking tanang buhay (Hurray, one year na ko as a regular employee in a single company! That’s a first for me, too!), kaya I used two of my VLs for this Camsur vacation. Tuhog pa yung November 1 holiday, so I was able to stay in Camsur til Wednesday evening.   

After I get tired of swimming in the pool, going around the venue, and watching the wakeboarders, I help out with the preparations. Pwede naman akong tumunganga lang at wag tumulong, kasi tapos na ang scripts ko at wala na akong kelangang gawin. But I’m not the type to stand and watch while the others run around and work. So tumulong pa rin ako in decorating the place.

I was busy cutting crepe paper when a kid approached me and asked, “Hi, can I watch you?” I was surprised, but said, “Sure!” She is a nine-year old girl, daughter of one of the VIPs. She had tons of questions, like, “Are you an artist? Can you teach me?” Then I told her, No, I’m no artist. I’m just helping with the decorations. But she was just so eager to learn that I eventually ended up teaching her what little art stuff I know, like how to cut flowers, draw simple shapes, lettering, etc. I was so amused by her eagerness to learn. She said that she too, is an artist and that she likes to paint. I told her, “You should ask your Mom to enroll you in art lessons. I should have gotten some when I was a kid. If you don’t use your talent, you’d lose it.” Then I felt like I was really talking to myself, too; about gifts that I know I probably had, but just wasn’t able to harness. Not to say that I am fantastic at drawing or painting or whatever artsy stuff, cause I’m not. However, I believe I could be quite dexterous when in the mood, hehehe. Seriously, I know that there’s some talent there that I could have developed if only I had proper training. Kaya ang advice sa bata: wag mong sayangin yan at mag-aral ka! 

October 31 – Tuesday

This was the night of the rock concert. I was beside myself with excitement, knowing that Pupil will be playing. Pupil is Ely Buendia’s new band, and Ely, for me, is one of the icons in Pinoy rock and I used to be really crazy over E-heads songs. I had no idea what Pupil’s music is like. I only knew that their songs are described as “dark but romantic” sa Wikipedia and that they won Best Video sa MTV Rock Awards. Apart from that, wala na kong alam sa kanila o sa mga kanta nila. 

Before the concert started, I was surprised to find out that the kid I met the previous night was waiting for me at the place where our team often hung out. She brought with her several packs of colored paper. “Kanina ka pa hinahanap nyan!” the others told me. Turns out she went to Naga with her Mom and bought art paper cause she wanted to make some cards for friends she met at Camsur. I immensely enjoy art activities kahit di man ako ubod ng galing, so I did not mind helping her at all.

As we worked on her cards, she just asked out of the blue, “Do you know Luigi?” I told her, yeah, the Governor’s youngest son. Why? Then she answered, “Nothing,” and tried to nonchalantly go back to her drawing. I gave her a knowing smile and, after a moment’s pause, I muttered, “I was nine once, too, you know.” She denied the crush about a hundred times more before eventually giving up and exclaiming, “Well, don’t tell anyone, okay?!” Tapos nagkwento na sya ng nagkwento about how she and Luigi used to be friends, and that now he’s completely ignoring her. I told her, Baket mo ba gusto yun eh ang taba-taba nun! Para akong yung mga kontrabidang Tita sa telenovela. Bwahaha. Gosh, I feel so old.

Ang weird, she sort of reminded me how kid crushes felt like. Yung tipong sheer agony nga yung hindi ka pinapansin ng crush mo. And you notice every single detail about him/ her (napansin nya pa na namayat itong si Luigi kasi lumiit daw ang mga bilbil! Hay!) Tapos, di mo alam kung pano ka magpapa-cute, at the same time you feel anxious na baka mahalata ka ng crush mo. Naki-brainstorm din ako kung anong pwedeng “innocent” message ang ilagay sa Happy Halloween card nya for Luigi kasi napa-praning sya na “baka isipin nya crush ko sya!” Ako pa ang nag-lettering cause she wanted the card to look really nice and didn’t trust her own skills. Hay. Wala lang, aliw na aliw lang ako sa encounter with her.

Hmmm. Paano kaya kung magkita ulit sila many years from now? I wonder if my little girl will ever find out how Luigi felt about that card—that is, if she mustered enough guts to hand it to him at all. 

October 31 – Tuesday (pa rin)

Oras na ng concert.

Noon ko lang na-appreciate ang mga hosts ng live shows. Kasi, being very new in events writing, I failed to take into consideration na matagal nga pala mag-soundcheck ang bawat band! Goodlak! Kawawa naman yung host, kasi ang iiksi lang ng spiels ko in-between each performance. Buti na lang ayos naman mag-adlib itong host, a Camsur local. Tapos pag wala na syang nasabi, binabasa nya ng binabasa ang list of sponsors, kaya talagang panalo sa publicity ang mga eto! That’s another major lesson learned for me.

Unang tumugtog ang The Ambassadors, a band from Visayas. Up next was Urbandub. Astig pala sila! Mga Cebuano artists. Rock kung rock! The reception by the crowd was unbelievable, too. Sa isip-isip ko, naku , lalo na siguro magkaka-gulo pag Pupil na. Syempre, Ely Buendia yan!

When Pupil got on stage, the people immediately started chanting, “Ely! Ely!” I guess his bandmates are used to that na. Pag-tugtog ng Pupil, I sort of felt bad for them, kasi NR ang crowd. Ibang-iba rin kasi ang tugtog nila sa Urbandub. Not that it’s bad, but I think the fans were expecting heavy rock stuff. After another song, di pa rin maganda ang reaction. Ang ginawa ng Pupil para mabuhayan ang mga tao, nag-covers na lang. Una, tumugtog ng Eraserheads song, “Pare Ko.” Syempre, panalo yun sa mga ka-edad ko, but I think the crowd was composed mostly of teenagers na, ayon sa aking computation, eh mga between 5-10 years old pa lang during the time the popularity of the Eraserheads was at its peak (more than a decade ago, if I’m not mistaken)! Syempre di na nila alam masyado ang mga hits ng E-heads. After an E-heads song, they did Teeth’s “Prinsesa” na isa rin sa mga 90s rock songs na sobrang gusto ko. Nalungkot talaga ako sa reaction ng mga tao sa Pupil, kasi ang layo-layo kumpara sa reception sa Urbandub. Naaawa ako Ely Buendia. May sumigaw pa sa isa sa mga nasa harapan na, “Ely! Wala ka na!”

Maya-maya, kinanta nila ang “Nasan Ka” na meron palang lyrics na “Wala ka na. Wala ka na pala…” So possible rin namang masyado lang akong naging sensitive. Hehehe.

November 1 – Wednesday

I was bored out of my wits.

Hindi talaga ako pwede manatili sa probinsya ng mahigit sa 3 araw, unless kagaya siya ng Sorsogon trip ko noon where I was mobile most of the time and I got to meet a lot of new people.

November 1 – Wednesday (Night)

No more lazyboy seats this time. RSL Bus Line naman, wide seats with restroom din, pero not as comfortable as Isarog.

Na-realize kong marami ka palang magagawa sa isang 8-hour bus trip na pagsisisihan mo for the rest of your life.

Ayun lang. Bow.

 

SCENE 1. EXT. LATE AFTERNOON. KIOSK.

It’s year 1999. Papalapit na ang pasko. Ang orgmates at college seniors na sina Rey at Che ay nag-uusap sa ilalim ng notoriously ma-higad at ma-insektong puno sa isa sa mga kiosks ng Masscomm. Tawanan at insultuhan as usual. Nag-shift ang usapan sa fast-approaching Christmas (na siya ring kaarawan ni Rey). Ang Che ay biglang naging seryoso at napamuni-muni. For some reason she couldn’t quite place, the Christmas season always weirdly brings about depression episodes. Muli na naman nyang naalala ang hapless, seemingly ill-fated quest for a special someone. Nag-drama ito bigla sa kaibigang si Rey.

CHE

Baket ganon? Baket hindi pa rin ako nagkaka-boyfriend? Hindi na yata ako magkaka-boyfriend kahit kailan! Am I destined to be single for life? Nooooo….

REY

Hello?! Ilang taon ka na ba?! Bente? Ang bata-bata mo pa!      

SCENE 2. INT. RESTAURANT. EVENING. PRESENT TIME.

Isang kailangan mag-unwind. Isang broken-hearted. Lunurin ang pagod at sama ng loob sa alak. Sina Rey at Che lang ang nasa table, pero siguro dahil sa medyo marami na silang nainom, lumapit ang waiter at tinanong kung gusto na lang nilang um-order ng beer bucket. Tumanggi nung una, pero di kalaunan ay nilapag din ang bucket na ito sa mesa nila. Drink ‘til you drop party for two ba ito?

CHE

So malungkot ka?

Tatango lang si Rey. Buntong hininga.

CHE

At least you now know what you’re dealing with.

REY  (sudden outburst)

Why are we f*cking single?! Ang dami-daming taong panget, masama ang ugali, walang direksyon ang buhay, nasa call center…pero may love life! Baket tayo, wala?! 

CHE (naki-swimming na rin sa sea of loneliness ni Rey)

Alam mo, Rey, college pa lang ganito na ang usapan natin! Nung 20 pa ko, sabi mo wag akong mag-alala kasi bata pa naman ako. Hello, 27 na ko ngayon! Can I panic now? (Short pause)

Baket kasi ang love hindi kagaya ng ibang bagay na pwede mong tyagain? Pag nag-practice ka ng nag-practice, pag nag-aral ka ng nag-aral, darating ang oras na makukuha mo rin yung gusto mo. Halos lahat, pwede mong pag-sikapan, pwedeng gawan ng paraan. But love…kung hindi ka nya magugustuhan, hindi ka nya magugustuhan!

Sandaling mapapatahimik at mapapa-isip si Rey.

REY

Kilo-kilometro ang kaya kong languyin, takbuhin, i-bisikleta…pero baket hindi ako kayang mahalin?

CHE

I know there are people meant for single-blessedness, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But that is something I would really hate to happen to me.

REY

Naalala ko yung isang episode ng Ally McBeal. Girlfriend ng pastor yung choir leader. One day he just broke up with her. Sabi nya pa don sa girl, “Everyday I pray, ‘Lord, make me feel it!’ But I didn’t.”

CHE

Putek! Ang sakit naman nun! Tapos you couldn’t blame the person kasi hindi nya rin naman kasalanan na hindi ka lang talaga nya mahal. Tipong, ‘There is nothing wrong with you. But I don’t love you.’

REY

Gusto ko na talaga magpunta sa psychologist. Baka merong mali sa akin na hindi ko nakikita.

CHE

Ano ka ba?! Walang mali sa’yo. There’s no one to blame, really.

REY

Kasi laging ganito ang nangyayari sa akin…there must be something wrong with me…

CHE

Napanood mo ba yung movie na Keeping the Faith? About a Priest and a Rabbi who were in love with the same girl. Then she just ended up falling for the Rabbi. Ang sakit nung sinabi ng Priest. He told her, ‘I’m the best version of myself when I’m around you. And the fact that you don’t like me makes me doubt everything else.” Imagine! Tipong, ito na nga yung pinaka-okay ko, pero ayaw mo pa rin sa akin?! Baket? Bakeeet?!

REY (Mapapa-mura)

What if I don’t find him?

CHE

Gusto ko pa ring maniwalang merong para sa akin. Pero pano nga kung wala?

Pitong taon ulit mula noon, isa pa rin bang eksena ng malungkot na pag-uusap tungkol sa pag-ibig na hindi mahanap-hanap ang kasunod? 

END. TO BE CONTINUED.