Delaying Tactics
After months of delaying, I finally brought my laptop to the repair shop in Megamall to have my charger checked. Since August or September, I have been stressing over the absence of this very important gadget, especially since I work as a writer not only for the company where I am officially employed, but for different clients as well.
I did not immediately bring it to the shop because a) I was dreading the extra costs (when I first inquired, I was advised that a charger repair would cost me ate least 2,500), b) I was too lazy to bring my laptop to Megamall (well, it’s actually not the lightest laptop in the world), and c)I didn’t trust any ordinary repair shop and wanted to bring it only to a place I know wouldn’t be a waste of precious bucks.
Turns out the friggin’ cord for the charger got torn and just had to be replaced! Sheesh. The lady in the repair shop did not even charge me anything. She just advised me to go to Ace Hardware and buy a new cord there. Dahil nahiya naman ako na hindi ko sya babayaran for her effort to check my laptop, I offered to buy the cord from her. She just said, “Ma’am, pag dito, 400 plus po ang cord. Mas mura sa Ace Hardware.” Buti na lang mabait sya at hindi sya madaya.
Aysus. Kurdon lang naman pala ang problema. Nag-dusa pa ako ng napakatagal. Had I brought my unit the first time I noticed the problem, then I wouldn’t have suffered unnecessarily!
This experience made me think about other things that caused me undue torment simply because I chose to procrastinate and it put off the task for as long as I could. I have always been, and will probably always be, a hopeless crammer. I read somewhere that the brain works faster and more efficiently with adrenaline rush—I guess that explains why I’m at my prime and get my best thoughts when the deadliest deadline is just hours away. This used to work really well when I was a student. I’d sleep all day and wake up at dawn to review. I didn’t do my reports or my papers until I was left with no other choice but to will myself to face the computer and write.
Now that I am working, I am being forcibly taught the value of having an early start. And that, unlike in school where I am the only one who’d suffer for missed deadlines, in the real world, you have people—from your boss all the way down to your teammates– breathing down your neck when you are unable to deliver work when it is expected and how it is expected. Mr. James, a former officemate, would always chide me about my work ethics. He used to be a project partner, and I always got us in trouble because I worked oh-so-slow. Whenever he’d tease me about my writing speed, I’d retort, “Eh quality naman!” The he’d answer plainly, “What will I do with quality when the deadline’s two weeks ago?”
I also realized that I am also probably this way even with relationships. As I grew, I’ve chosen to become less confrontational, less argumentative, more detached. Kung pwedeng wag na lang pag-usapan and go on like nothing happened, I’d rather have it that way. When I’ve hurt someone and even though inside I’m dying to apologize and patch things up, I let paranoia get the better of me, and delay my apology for as long as I could. “I’d call/text/write later/ tomorrow/ next week/ next month/ on your birthday/ on Christmas….” Then, just like any wound or leak or crack that is not mended, plugged, or fixed at the soonest time possible, it gets worse and worse, until you realize that the misunderstanding has gone from minor to irreparable.
Hence, I vow to be more responsible. I vow to be braver in big and small things alike. I will no longer let life pass me by just because I am too lazy or complacent, or I am too scared.
In retrospect, I guess any person, thing, task, situation that’s unfamiliar would always seem too intimidating and daunting when assessed from afar. Only when you push yourself to overcome your fear of the unknown would you realize that it is not as big as you initially thought.
When I worked as a researcher/ writer for a magazine, there were times when I would be sent to interview politicians and journalists. I remember an interview that I particularly dreaded—with Atty. Frank Chavez, a person whose name I only heard before in news clips. When the day of the interview came, me, the idiot, was just so unprepared! I did not have a tape recorder, my questions were forgettable…sigh! But sitting in his office, I felt like a kid listening to her lolo tell stories of magic. Mr. Chavez made for a great interviewee, very articulate, very intelligent (my hand could barely keep up as I wrote down his answers!). Right then and there, I realized that everyone, even big-time politicians or artists, are human beings just like you and me. And, as the cliché goes, they each have a story to tell. Hence, I feel honored to have been given the opportunity to ask them about their stories and write about them. After that experience, I felt less scared of conducting interviews—armed with the knowledge that these people, no matter how big they may seem to appear—are human beings just like me.
