My Turf






         I write for me.

January 20, 2007

Leaving on a Jet Plane - Part 2

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 4:39 am

It was only yesterday, yes, YESTERDAY, that I was told that our Northwest flight is confirmed. My date of departure? Tomorrow. Yes, TOMORROW! And where was I when I found out? On my way to Sucat for a shoot, in a van about to overheat, under the sweltering, unyielding 12 PM sun.   

I was beset with worries yesterday. I have no clean clothes to bring (I’ve about a month’s worth of dirty laundry in my hamper). I haven’t picked up the winter stuff that Ana promised to lend me. Worse, I stupidly took a writing project–a Microfinance report which has figures I could not at all understand. I put off writing it until Monday swiftly became Thursday, and now I am left with less than two days to finish everything.

The repercussions of procrastination always, always choose to manifest themselves at the suckiest of times.

Nonetheless, it really pays to have friends. And, praise God, I am blessed with a lot of really, really great ones. My Econ friends are just super! Kathy, the barkada’s unparalleled Math wiz, agreed to "help" me with my microfinance report. Ana, on the other hand, so graciously packed her muffler, gloves, head gear, winter jacket, and suitcase for me to pickup. After my highly stressful shoot last night (super init ng ulo ko that my child talent got so scared of me, he ended up crying), it was really relieving to have the girls waiting at Gerry’s with glasses of Margarita, ready to help soothe strained nerves and give another picker-upper. Here’s to 10 more years, Yas, Paula, Ren, Kathy, Ana, Dada, and Tinapot!   

Today, Saturday, we had to again go to the office to finish editing the TVC we shot yesterday (’di naman gaano tight ang schedule). In between exporting and rendering, I rushed to the nearby mall and bought whatever decent warm clothing I could find as I had no more time to wash my dirty clothes and wait for them to dry. Why? My flight is at 6:45 AM tomorrow, and I have to be at the airport before 4.

Now, I haven’t packed a thing, but I’m again running off to Podium to meet up with my highschool barkada for an informal, mini-sendoff. Tomorrow, while I’m gone, my Dad would have the new bed delievered to our house in Pasig, so it will be ready and waiting in my room when I return.

Hay, how sweet it is to be loved… Kaya never be fooled by my rantings. :-)

I am definitely, absolutely just THRILLED to be going back to Japan again. Last year, I went in March so it was way too late for snow, yet way too early for Cherry blossoms. Well, now it’s the tail-end of winter, so I am looking forward to seeing and touching snow (I thought I’d never live to relish such an experience), reuniting with my good friend, Lara in Yokohama, and possibly seeing my highschool buddy, Alvin E. 

5 degrees lang daw ang temperature sa Tokyo, so there might not be snow there. But a place where snow usually piles quite high is just about two hours away by train from Tokyo. Yey!

January 9, 2007

Old Article # 3

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 3:54 am

This rant was published in the "Comments" section of Newsbreak last year, though the editors softened it just a wee bit ;-)

________________________________________________________

September 27, 2005

To the Newsbreak Editor:

My salutations to you and the rest of the Newsbreak staff!

I subscribe to your magazine because I love how you present your investigative reports in such simple yet direct and straightforward manner. I wish to share my thoughts regarding the calls for the President’s resignation and the establishment of a transition government—and why I am not buying it.

Transition Government? Who will lead that? Escudero, who has always been vocal about wanting to be President one day? Lacson, who has sleekly gotten away with charges on countless human rights violations? Ronaldo Zamora? We all know whose crony he was. Susan Roces? Well, how on earth does she hope to run an entire country? Oh, please…

Moreover, who will make up that new administration and who will select them? For sure, each and every group who took part in the call for the President’s resignation would want a representative in that so-called transition government. I think it won’t be too farfetched an assessment if I say that these groups do not exactly share the same ideals or values—one need not be a genius or some clairvoyant to be able to predict that a more ridiculous circus would undoubtedly ensue. This arduous cycle of putting such enormous responsibilities into the hands of either a nincompoop or a totally clueless, or unbelievably ambitious person would result in bad governance, increased poverty, greater frustration…Before we know it, the same people who have called for the resignation of countless people over countless reasons will be, guess what? Yes, back on the streets, complaining about the same problems but not having a single feasible and achievable alternative to what they want to change

While the people who want oh-so-dearly to topple and replace this government remain unable to provide a sincere answer to the “What next?” and the “If not her, then who?” questions, they cannot make me take a leave from work and join their rallies calling for the President’s resignation/ creation of a transition government.

While the anti-Gloria movement reeks of vested interests and (not so) hidden agenda, while no concrete and doable alternative to the current system could be proposed, and while its proponents continue to further hassle and impose what they want on people who do not even share the same stand by staging rallies in major avenues (EDSA and Ayala during rush hour, no less! Grrrrr!), I do not think the opposition’s effort could hope to achieve anything. I just wish they open their eyes to the reality that what they want may not be what the rest of the Filipinos want. Sometimes, unwillingness to participate stems not from apathy, but from total non-belief or distrust in the idea being pushed for. Or in the people pushing for it. 

 

I am no Gloria fan. We all know she cheated and that it shouldn’t be condoned. Of course it is no secret that a lot of those who won in the elections did too, though that is beside the point. But if only for her position on federalism, of making governance work from the bottom-up and empowering people in the grassroots…if only for the possibility, no matter how minute, of a concrete change finally taking place, I’d rather that GMA stays if the opposition cannot provide a better offer.

All the bickering is tiring. The ambition and hidden agenda of the few are sickening.

I wonder how these people, some of them so young and promising, can sleep peacefully at night without being hounded by shame. I would feel ashamed to the core of my bones if I know I am using my education, my brains, the name and wealth I inherited from my parents to fool other people so I can attain my own goals. It is all at the same time pathetic, embarrassing, extremely infuriating, and pitiful.

To those Congressmen who refuse to do their jobs and spend more time grandstanding

and making fools of themselves on the stand: for Pete’s sake, use the fat checks you

get from the pork barrel to clean your own backyards and do something for the people

who put you where you are right now because you promised to make their lives better.

Sincerely,

Cheryl Bautista Ingles

Old Article # 2

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 3:26 am

This might help…

_____________________________________________________

Teen Suicide

“It was a terrible feeling…it was so confusing. I had more questions than answers when I heard my friend telling me that Jeanie* is gone.”

This is all that Andy*, the friend of a 19-year old girl who just committed suicide, could say when asked how he felt about what happened. Jeanie* was a member of one of her university’s top choral groups. She was a consistent honor student with lots of talents to boot. She came from a good, well-off family. Always perky and upbeat, Jeanie had a knack for winning over each person she encountered, and was like sunshine to her peers’ seemingly mundane days. That is why every soul who found out that she killed herself by drinking poison was struck with outrage. “Oh no, not Jeanie!”

One question rang loudest on her loved ones’ minds: Why did Jeanie, a young girl who seemed to have it all, choose to end such a beautiful life?   

It was later found out that Jeanie was extremely dejected over her breakup with a long-time boyfriend. And it did not help at all that some of the people she indirectly ran to for help were unable to recognize the magnitude of her problem, and had mistaken what she’s going through as a simple phase that would eventually pass. Jeanie’s depression over her loss, perhaps aggravated by the feeling of helplessness, pushed her to kill herself.

Jeanie’s case is not an isolated one. In fact a series of teen suicides has occurred over the past few months, leaving one to wonder why this seems to have suddenly become an epidemic among adolescents. A recent study shows that suicide has become a 3rd leading cause of death among those 15-25 years of age, right up there with cancer and homicide.

The rate of teen suicide, although not as large as in other age groups, is still cause for much alarm. Most people would be quick to attribute suicide to weakness or lunacy, but there are indeed more reasons behind it than meets the eye. What causes the young people to commit suicide and how could this be helped? This should be ample reason for us to probe deeper into the issue of Teen Suicide: its causes and symptoms, and the possible means for prevention.

What pushes a teen to commit suicide?

It is a known fact that suicidal behaviors are often associated with depression. Aleja dela Cruz, a counselor from the teen-counseling hotline Dial-A-Friend, explains that “Recent stressful events can trigger suicidal behavior, particularly in an impulsive youth. Since adolescents are in a stage of transition, different changes that they may find confusing occur. That is why a lot of incidents may provoke an adolescent to commit suicide.”

Although it may be true that not everyone who is depressed is a suicidal risk, this does not negate the fact that a clear connection between depression and suicide still exists. Teens who thought, or are thinking, of suicide may be facing problems that for them are so overwhelming, that death becomes more preferable to life. Suicide becomes a possible escape alternative for someone who feels that the pain is more than he/she can cope with. Barry Greenwald, Ph.D. discussed in his article, Loneliness, Depression, and Suicide some of the major factors that could cause depression.

Dr. Greenwald said although clinical depression could also be attributed to a biochemical disorder, this should not be used as a reason to overlook the psychological components that are essential in understanding the condition of the suffering individual. He divided the psychological factors that could set off depression into four major categories:

·         Failure to live up to ideal

“Anger turned inward against the self” is one primary cause for depression. The inability to meet set expectations or standards often accounts for low self-esteem, making one feel inept and insecure. That is why bad grades or a failed exam could cause depression to a teen who feels extremely pressured to excel in school. They get angry with themselves because they have not achieved or done what they believe they should have.

·         Problems expressing anger

Some people opt to blame themselves for everything that happens, even things that are not their fault. Dr. Greenwald asserts that difficulty expressing anger towards other people is dangerous because it only drives the negative emotion “…beneath the surface and forces it to find a more indirect avenue for expression.”

·         Reactions to life events

Strong, reactive depressions are often brought about by certain inevitable events. These include endings, separations, losses, and death that are hard for most people to cope with, especially the adolescents who have less means to deal with the pain. As Dr. Greenwald put it, the healing period that comes after such events is usually a “slow process and often a confusing time as people try to work out how their life is going to be now.”

·         Empathic failures

Depression could also occur when one feels misunderstood or taken for granted by people he/she cares about. Dr. Greenwald points out that, “When important people fail to understand, recognize, acknowledge, appreciate, or respond in a way that we hoped they would, that can be a sufficient injury to produce a depression.” These reactions often cause the hurting person to feel even more unworthy or less important. 

Telltale signs of depression

Untreated Depression is the number one cause of suicide. However, depression could be manifested in many different forms and its depth is often hard to detect. If a loved one just went through a life episode that you think could be difficult for him or her to handle, it is safest to just be ready to offer support to counter the depression that might follow. There is a possibility that the depressive event has triggered thoughts of suicide in the person. Aleja dela Cruz of Dial-A-Friend claims there are certain behaviors that could be seen as danger signs of suicide and should be watched out for. These include sleeping problems, loss of appetite, isolation, withdrawal, hopelessness, crying spells, giving away personal possessions, shortened attention span, sudden drop in school performance or school attendance problems.

How to help someone who may be suicidal

Some people, especially those who are already past their teens, find it quite difficult to understand why some adolescents resort to suicide. It must be understood, however, that even adults have a tough time dealing with stressful events. Depressive experiences are perhaps even more grueling for teenagers who have less resources and means to solve or cope with their own problems. Most of them are still very much dependent on adult support and are still struggling to understand themselves and their environment. As one article on suicide contends, “Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

Perhaps one of, if not the most important, way to prevent suicide is to never ignore a call or a signal for help. No matter how seemingly feeble or insignificant it is. Ambivalence is an important factor in this psychological conflict. This means that even if the person is contemplating suicide, there’s still a part of him/her that wants to live. It is therefore essential to understand that a “Rescuer” resides in each one of us. Should you begin to sense that a loved one may be in the process of committing suicide, it is best to make it your responsibility to provide help and assistance so that his/her life could be saved.

Here are some ways to help a person who may be suicidal:

1.       Take him/her seriously. It is not true that people who joke or talk about suicide will not do it. Give immediate attention to anyone who expresses suicidal feelings. Keep in mind that suicidal behavior is actually a call for help.  More importantly, do not easily dismiss a teen’s concern as juvenile or shallow. What may be easy for you to deal with may already be overwhelming for him or her. Do everything you can to reduce the depressed person’s pain.

2.      Listen. Sometimes, all that a person needs is to know that he/she is not alone and that someone understands his/her concerns. Pain could be more easily dealt with when the fear of rejection or being judged is eliminated. Knowing that you could be run to for help could play a major role in a person’s decision in choosing life over death.   

3.       Urge the person to seek professional help. If the person has troubles that you think you cannot handle, it is best to encourage him to get help from professionals who could provide timely and appropriate interventions.

Conclusion

Pag nagpakamatay kaya ako, papansinin na ako ni Marc?”

Jeanie’s friends claim that on the night she committed suicide, she jokingly told anybody in the party who’d care to listen that she would kill herself. But nobody took her seriously. They even laughed and teased her that she “…could never do a thing like that.” A few hours after, not a single smiling face could be seen as Jeanie was being rushed to the hospital, her mouth foaming.

“It’s an eye-opener.” her friend, Andy, sadly admitted.  “We never thought anyone close to our age could commit suicide.” It is indeed very hard to see suicide for the reality that it is until it hits home. People recognize its existence but tend to be oblivious to the possibility that it could also happen to someone close to them. Suicide is seen as something so tragic and terrible that many do not even want to entertain thoughts about it. But as Jeanie’s and many other teens’ cases have proven, suicide does strike; when it’s least expected, sometimes even to the most unlikely people.      

The tragedy that befell Jeanie’s loved ones is indeed sad and painful. However, it is likewise an experience that teenagers and adults alike could learn from. “I hate it when I hear people say, ‘Sayang naman si Jeanie.’ Her life was not put to waste at all. There were a lot of lives she touched and changed.” Jeani’es passing undeniably caused much grief, but the joy she brought to the people around her when she was still alive is incomparable. That is why Jeanie’s family and friends are trying their best to see through the pain and the guilt. Instead, they are now looking for possible means to be able to help increase society’s awareness on the issue of suicide.

Suicide should not be treated as if it were a cause for embarrassment to the victim’s family and friends. Information dissemination will play a big role in making more people understand suicide and the circumstances that could possibly lead to it. Refusing to look at the gravity of suicide will not make this reality go away. Tackling the problem head-on may not either, but it at least gives us a better chance. Perhaps in the future, there will be no more Jeanies, and A.R. Santiagos, and Camille Ilustres. No more thoughts of wasted future, overwhelming guilt, and young lives lost.   

One very essential lesson that Andy realized from what happened to Jeanie is to “…never underestimate a person’s concern. Never take a friend for granted.” Cliché, yes, but it is true. We never really know when something as seemingly inconsequential as a hug, or expression of affection, or an hour’s worth of listening could save a life. 

When you are feeling suicidal…

If you are being bogged down or tremendously bothered by problems that you find difficult to bring up or discuss even with your family or friends, call the Dial-A-Friend hotline. Dial-A-Friend is a counseling program that aims to provide professional and appropriate interventions to adolescents and young adults in difficult times.

You do not have to hack that problem alone or be paralyzed by you fear of being judged or rejected. Be it a crisis about boy-girl relationships, parent-child relationships, peer pressure, self-esteem concerns, sexual identity, substance abuse, career planning, marital problems and sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs), even sexual harassment, date rape and domestic violence, the trained peer counselors will listen to you and help you with what you’re going through.

Dial-A-Friend operates in Metro Manila and has four telephone hotlines that you could call for help from 10 AM to 10 PM:

(632) 734-8902 / (632) 734-8903

Old Article

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 3:09 am

This is a piece I wrote for a teen magazine almost two years back that never saw the light of day. Still, I think it is better shared than left to waste away in my hard drive. So if you’re up for a preachy read, here’s an article that was borne way before the spread of Angelica Panganiban’s controversial pre-Photoshop pictures.

________________________________________________________

Scandals, anyone?

By Cheryl B. Ingles

It is a given that people, save perhaps those with a very, very weird fetish, would not want videos of themselves to be sent to countless strangers as a “Watch this!” email or a porn link, right? With perhaps all the scandals imaginable that have been passed around countless times, one is led to wonder why not much information has been disseminated about possible recourses for a person who unknowingly becomes a victim of such humiliation.   

If this horrible reality figures in your life, would you know what to do?

Scandals for sale

I was scouring for good buys at Greenhills the other day when a man sitting on the steps called out, “DVD! VCD!” He approached and flashed a disc cover before me.

As he handed it to me, the peddler boasted, “150 na lang ‘yan, Ma’am. Mas mahal kasi pag ganyang scandal. Sa iba nga, 200 pa eh!”

Splashed all over the front cover was a picture of a young woman, stark naked. Surrounding it were screenshots of the girl and her partner “in action.” Under these pictures was the title, “La Salle Scandal.” Oh yes, not only clothes, appliances, perfumes, and accessories are being sold cheaply in the busy tiangge–scandals are, too.

You must have seen or heard about the scandal allegedly involving students from one of the country’s premier universities. Even before VCD copies caught the interest of optical disc pirates, the video was already being widely circulated over the Internet and was the topic of too many a discussion in campuses and workplaces. This was followed by several others, such as the Ateneo Scandal, Dumaguete Scandal and the Quezon City Scandal.

It is quite difficult to know the real score on how sex videos being attributed to supposedly innocent places and institutions like campuses proliferate. Take the La Salle Scandal video, for example. Some say it was a result of a relationship that turned sour, a blackmail attempt by someone the couple in the video trusted, or a case of the video simply ending up in the wrong hands. Still, the question that rings the loudest is: How did it happen? How did these footage, so obviously not meant for the public’s eyes, suddenly end up in people’s email inboxes and porn collections?

We interviewed several students from different colleges to find out their opinions on why this video caught the attention of so many people and how it spread like wildfire.

“Chismis yun eh,” one of the student respondents said.  “Porn-wise, the La Salle Scandal video, or other campus-related sex videos for that matter, could even be considered of poor quality. It’s the fact na nagta-Tagalog yung mga napapanood mo sa video that makes it interesting.” another interviewee added.

When asked if the couples in the videos were to blame for the humiliation that the spread of the video might have cause them, a student replied, “Kasalanan nila yun. What they did was insane!

“They deserve it!” was the general sentiment of the students interviewed before finally dismissing the campus sex video scandals as old issues and are no longer very interesting topics of discussion for them.   

More than a pornography issue

Nonetheless, even though the popularity (or infamy, depending on how one sees it) of these scandals reached its peak more than a few months back, it should still be cause for concern. Its implications go much further than morality issues that rule against pornographic materials. The real threat here is on an individual’s privacy.

Advances in technology, especially in the means of communication, have made it a whole lot easier to violate this right. Hidden cameras, camera phones, the Internet, MMS, optical disc copies that could be reproduced countless times over for minimal cost …a few mouse clicks or keypad presses could mess up someone’s name for life. So much tools that, when used wrongly, could spell the ruin of an unwitting person’s reputation. Do you still recall the story of a lady who went on an out-of-town vacation with a bunch of college guys who took pictures of her, wasted and naked, using a camera phone then uploaded them on the Internet for the whole world to see?

When so basic a civil right is being encroached upon by seemingly innocent means, then we must be alarmed.

Who’s watching you?

Lessons could be learned from the experiences of the people involved in the scandals. Chief of these is that a scandal is a reality that spares no one: it can victimize you too.

These stories warn about the possible dangers of hooking up with strangers, which could result in unpleasant things you wouldn’t even want to think about.

They likewise encourage people, especially young men and women like you, to always be on the alert–even when you think you are safe in a private area and out of others’ sight. Keep in mind that the use of hidden cameras and other surveillance equipment in establishments is perfectly legal and is allowed in the name of security. And it is noteworthy, however, that these legal provisions neither protect against nor provide sanctions for abuses of this technology.

How many horror stories have we heard about the presence of hidden/surveillance cameras, two-way mirrors, and tapped phone lines in supposed private spaces? In fact, I have received via email videos of women being treated in spas or changing clothes in a washroom, and couples having sex in motels…these people were being filmed without their knowledge! To make matters worse, some abusive and irresponsible camera operators of these establishments even go as far as creating copies of the videos then distributing them for anyone’s consumption. 
And Elvis sings, “Don’t be cruel…” 

The trend of reality TV shows is on the rise, perhaps due to the fact that a certain thrill really does come with being able to peak at people in their most unguarded moments. Add some sleazy, naughty content to that same formula and what do you get? The proliferation of sex scandals that could star anyone from the person you sit beside with in Math class, your best friend, your sibling, or you.

While you have not been a victim of this problem, one action you could take to protect yourself from it is to not take part in the spread of such cruelty. Remember that things and issues that don’t sell grow old and die. If another scandal breaks again, perhaps you should think twice (or more!) before sending it to everyone in your Friends’ list.

Consideration of other people’s reputation, self-esteem and future ought to have more weight than having something to gawk at or gain momentary sexual thrill from.

January 8, 2007

Mission Impossible

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 5:03 am

When I last checked, my job description includes “Scriptwriting/ Directing” and not “Making the impossible possible.”

Mission Impossible # 1

Our President found a woman who he thinks would be a great model for our whitening products. I am not very much concerned with the fact that she is a natural morena–I am confident that the wonder ingredient, Glutathione, featured in one of our orally-ingested products could surely lighten her skin. What I am feeling all panicky about is that he wants her to be white and fair in one month, which is not at all remotely possible, even for a Glutathione-filled treatment. I was instructed to shoot her once a week and document the changes in her skin color, which, no matter how much I will it to, would just not happen.   

“Make sure she becomes white!” was the boss’s direct order, ignoring all protests.

Gusto kong humirit na, “Writer-slash-nagmamaka-director po ako, hindi magician.”

Mission Impossible # 2

Last Saturday, Wendell and I were asked to report to the office and present to our President the concepts and scripts we developed for our Caregiving schools in Japan.

“Good!” he muttered after the pitch. Then he coolly added, “I send you to Japan. You leave on the 15th.”

Last Saturday was already January 6. He couldn’t seriously think we could leave for Japan in a week, right? So I asked, on February, sir?

“No. January!”

Dumbfounded, Wendell and I exchanged scared glances, our eyes automatically darting to the oh-so filled whiteboard of pending projects. The boss quickly looked at the board too, checked his phone calendar and said, “Okay, you can leave on January 21. Be back here on the 28th.”

Right then and there, I wanted to cry.

We pitched four freakin’ TVC scripts. He found them good and wanted them all done. Inspired, he gave us two more concepts of his own. Fine. Shoot six TVCs in Japan, plus a 20-minute documentary…that shouldn’t be a problem. That is, if we’re given at least two weeks to do them all. How on earth could we possibly finish taking all those footage in one week?! Especially if it going to be done in Japan where only about 2% of the people speak English, where equipment rental rates are just implausible, and giving us a production crew to work with is not even being considered (in March last year, I shot an entire documentary all by myself, remember?). To top it all off, the school now has two branches, which are just so, so far from each other, one being in Tokyo and the other in Yokohama.

After some final instructions, our boss got up and walked back to his office. I forced myself to keep calm and told Wendell, hey, we still have a chance of making it. We can bring the office camera and just ask the Tokyo guys to provide us another one! With two cameras, we can shoot simultaneously in different places and not worry about shot options. 

Turns out I have one more reason to panic: Wendell does not have a passport yet. Worse, his birth certificate carries the wrong middle name. And he has barely two weeks to process the correction of his birth certificate, get a passport, and apply for a VISA.

Lord, help me…

Grey Reflections

Filed under: Uncategorized — cheingles @ 4:58 am

I’ve belatedly developed a liking for light drama series, thanks to the St. Francis Square pirates who peddle whole seasons for 80 bucks per disc. I am immensely enjoying being a couch potato (especially after a long day). But one thing I don’t like about it is this new hobby really is taking much out of the time I usually devote for reading (I’ve lots of half-read books and magazines piling up on my desk, just gathering dust). But I couldn’t stop watching! I just breezed through 3 seasons of Desperate Housewives (sheesh, Season 2 is unbelievably cheesy and quite disappointing), and am now midway through Grey’s Anatomy.

Being the “quotations” sucker that I am, here are some hard-hitting lines that I truly agree with and wish I had thought of or written myself:

1. A wisecrack patient to George O’Malley (this was said after George’s ex, the nurse Olivia, had a sudden outburst about George not wanting to be with her because he is still pining for Meredith who wouldn’t even give him the time of day):

“Living with someone who can’t love you back is way lonelier than being alone.”

2. “How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon, too much information, too much fun, too much love, too much to ask…and when is it all just too much to bear?”

3. “When fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window.”

3. “Boundaries do not keep people out. THEY FENCE YOU IN. So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know: if you’re willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.”

4. Oh, this musing I really, really love (this was from an episode in Season 1, where George was standing outside Meredith’s door, trying to muster the courage to knock and give her the breakfast he made for her. HAY!)

“I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection…sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the fear of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor.”

5. “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ENOUGH. THE GLASS IS BOTTOMLESS. AND ALL WE WANT IS MORE.”

6. From the series theme: “Nobody knows where we might end up. Nobody knows…”

7. Still from Season 1, at the start of the Cristina Yang-Preston Burke love affair (I swear, mas kinikilig pa ko sa dalawang ‘to kesa sa Derek Shepherd-Meredith Grey tandem!)

I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of a guide that could tell you when you’ve crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming. And I don’t know how you fit it on a map. YOU TAKE IT WHERE YOU CAN GET IT AND KEEP IT AS LONG AS YOU CAN. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.”

8. Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, pain gets you when you least expect it. It’s way below the belt and it doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through it. Because the truth is, you can’t outrun it. And life ALWAYS MAKES MORE.

9. “We have to sweep today’s possibilities under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, BEATS THE HELL OUT OF NEVER TRYING.”

10. From Desperate Housewives: “Nothing is forever. And the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew. Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted. Goodbye to those we thought would never abandon us. And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all we can do is say hello. And welcome.”