My Turf

When I last checked, my job description includes “Scriptwriting/ Directing” and not “Making the impossible possible.”

Mission Impossible # 1

Our President found a woman who he thinks would be a great model for our whitening products. I am not very much concerned with the fact that she is a natural morena–I am confident that the wonder ingredient, Glutathione, featured in one of our orally-ingested products could surely lighten her skin. What I am feeling all panicky about is that he wants her to be white and fair in one month, which is not at all remotely possible, even for a Glutathione-filled treatment. I was instructed to shoot her once a week and document the changes in her skin color, which, no matter how much I will it to, would just not happen.   

“Make sure she becomes white!” was the boss’s direct order, ignoring all protests.

Gusto kong humirit na, “Writer-slash-nagmamaka-director po ako, hindi magician.”

Mission Impossible # 2

Last Saturday, Wendell and I were asked to report to the office and present to our President the concepts and scripts we developed for our Caregiving schools in Japan.

“Good!” he muttered after the pitch. Then he coolly added, “I send you to Japan. You leave on the 15^th.”

Last Saturday was already January 6. He couldn’t seriously think we could leave for Japan in a week, right? So I asked, on February, sir?

“No. January!”

Dumbfounded, Wendell and I exchanged scared glances, our eyes automatically darting to the oh-so filled whiteboard of pending projects. The boss quickly looked at the board too, checked his phone calendar and said, “Okay, you can leave on January 21. Be back here on the 28^th.”

Right then and there, I wanted to cry.

We pitched four freakin’ TVC scripts. He found them good and wanted them all done. Inspired, he gave us two more concepts of his own. Fine. Shoot six TVCs in Japan, plus a 20-minute documentary…that shouldn’t be a problem. That is, if we’re given at least two weeks to do them all. How on earth could we possibly finish taking all those footage in one week?! Especially if it going to be done in Japan where only about 2% of the people speak English, where equipment rental rates are just implausible, and giving us a production crew to work with is not even being considered (in March last year, I shot an entire documentary all by myself, remember?). To top it all off, the school now has two branches, which are just so, so far from each other, one being in Tokyo and the other in Yokohama.

After some final instructions, our boss got up and walked back to his office. I forced myself to keep calm and told Wendell, hey, we still have a chance of making it. We can bring the office camera and just ask the Tokyo guys to provide us another one! With two cameras, we can shoot simultaneously in different places and not worry about shot options. 

Turns out I have one more reason to panic: Wendell does not have a passport yet. Worse, his birth certificate carries the wrong middle name. And he has barely two weeks to process the correction of his birth certificate, get a passport, and apply for a VISA.

Lord, help me…