1. New Addiction: PINOY BIG BROTHER SEASON 2

I am in love with sweet, innocent-looking, fine-dancing, Mickey.

And I really find the house dog, Buddy, truly adorable. Me don’t like the PBB girls, though.

Actually, I never had much interest in PBB before. I only started watching quite fondly when they launched Pinoy Dream Academy—mostly because I enjoyed watching the performance classes, and partly because I liked that cutie boy, Chad.

Now, it’s the 22-year old Mickey, oh, Mickey. Sigh…

I swear, I am your closet Jologs Incarnate. 

2. New DVDs: NIP/TUCK SERIES

This is another display of my masochistic tendencies.

I cringe at the script (the writers of this series took the term, “Cheesy” to a totally new level)! The acting is bad, it is bloody and gory and filled with unnecessary sex scenes, but heck, I’m hooked!

This was a result of a stupid mistake I made when I was scouring for new DVDs at St. Francis. What I really wanted to buy was either House or Prison Break (I’ve been hearing raves about these series). Then Nip/Tuck caught my eye, so I picked it up and, without thinking, hurriedly bought it instead for I don’t know why.

I got three seasons in the package, I think. At dahil nanghihinayang naman ako, pinanood ko na din. The first few episodes really sucked, but I was still drawn to the extent people are willing to go to feel better about themselves. I was particularly floored by the story of a woman who convinced her husband to break her nose with a hammer just so she could fool the surgeons into giving her a nose job. Another notable episode is about this Somalian woman who came to the McNamara-Troy clinic to have her clitoris (yeah, it’s c-l-i-t, all right) restored. Turns out there’s this ancient tradition in Somalia wherein the women are forced to have their clits and the folds surrounding it sliced off. Otherwise, they’d be thought of as unclean and no man would want to marry them. According to her, this is based on the old belief that sexual pleasure should be enjoyed by the men alone. Puchaaa! I was actually wincing just listening to her story. What’s interesting about it is what the surgeons did to fix the destroyed organ. They cut off one of her toes (believe me, it was a major “Eeeeww!”) and this is what they attached to you-know-where, and became the replacement clit. Kadiring astig, ‘no?

   

3. New Look: BRACES

“Tell me what you don’t like about yourself,” is usually the opening line of the plastic surgeons in Nip/Tuck to their patient during a consult.

If I were asked that question, I’d answer, “My teeth.” I have long been wanting to have this horrendous set fixed, only I was never quite able to save up enough for it. Now, thanks to some extra projects, I finally had enough to pay the down payment. Saka ko na po-problemahin ang monthly fees. J   

There may be some who’d claim, “Looks don’t matter.” But you know what? Whatever rhetoric or ideal we would like to believe, realistically speaking, looks do matter. In any environment, in any relationship: packaging counts. As the nurse, Liz, in Nip/Tuck told a patient, “It would be wonderful to look beyond the wrapping for the real person inside. But I work in a plastic surgeon’s office and I know that doesn’t really happen.” You wouldn’t trust a dentist with bad teeth. You wouldn’t trust an unshaven, sweaty salesman wearing wrinkled clothes with your money. As an employer, if you are faced with two equally talented, equally brilliant applicants, only the other one is better dressed or is more pleasant looking than the rival, guess who’d land the job?

On another note, I guess we cannot tell a person to stop being insecure about whatever aspect he/she doesn’t like about himself/herself. In my opinion, however, a clear line still divides the insecure people who do nothing but mope, whine, and hate themselves from those who acknowledge the source of their insecurity, try to live with it when no other option is available, and eventually do something about it when an opportunity for change finally emerges.

In my case, I felt like I really needed to have my teeth fixed because my crooked teeth are something I’ve always been embarrassed about–I’m wary about smiling widely because I think my smile is horrendous. So that affects how I deal with people, that’s probably the reason why I often come off as suplada or antipatika.

Well, insecure days will someday be over. Here I am, pushing 28 and with, literally, a mouthful of steel. Happy, nonetheless. Maybe I could smile better soon…

4. New Hobby: SWIMMING

Finally, I’m swimming regularly again.

I try to do so at least once a week, during weekends at Ultra. It’s really good exercise and an effective way to lose weight, too. I also want to go jogging, but I have really weak knees, so badminton (with officemates) and swimming are the sports I now engage in whenever I have the time.   

5. New danger: CREDIT CARD

With the help of my high school kabarkada who also happens to be an HSBC bosing, Faye, I finally got my first credit card.

6. New learning: PAG FREELANCER A.K.A RAKETERA KA, WAG KA MAYABANG.

Ang mag-feeling that your clients need you more than you need them is tantamount to killing your own career way before it even had a chance to take off.

Personally, I know I am not getting my sidelines through mere talent alone. I am aware of the fact na maraming mas magagaling. Maraming mas skilled. Maraming mas talented. Maraming may mas mataas na pinag-aralan. Maraming mas may experience. Ano pa ba ang magiging edge ko sa mga yan? How do I hope to compete?

It’s not like I have a huge client base, but I still do get freelance projects from time to time—sometimes even from clients I have never met or have never seen a thing I’ve written. Maaaring they get me because I don’t charge as high as others probably do. Honestly, I’ve never demanded a standard TF from clients, old and new man. Kung magkano ang budget na feeling ko di naman ako lugi, pumapayag ako. Maaari ring it’s because hindi ako mareklamo… Pero syempre, hindi ko naman naisip to ng basta ganon lang.

When I was new at freelance writing, may mga naging clients din ako na siguro sinusumpa ako kasi marami akong palpak, I didn’t care about deadlines, at wala akong malasakit sa ginagawa ko. Syempre hindi na nila ako kinuha ulit. Doon ko natutunan ang golden lesson na hindi ka dapat nagmamalaki dahil maraming taong magaling.

Though I think I’m not a bad writer, I also know that there are lot of grea and in many ways better writers as well. So I am just banking on word of mouth, the smaller fee I probably charge, and doing the best I can to keep those projects coming. 

In my company, there are also instances na naghahanap ako ng talents or suppliers for our projects. I also get my turn to play Client. I’ve encountered several people or companies na hindi ko na kinuha ulit kahit kailan dahil either majorly pumalpak ng isang beses (like yung equipment rental group na binigyan ako ng sablay na gamit or yung agent na nung mismong araw ng shoot eh nagpadala ng talent na may isang damukal na pimples) or napatunanayan kong masama ang ugali, mareklamong wala sa lugar, o bastos sumagot.   

Again, kung raketera: WAG FEELING GOD’S GIFT TO CLIENTS. We need our clients more than they need us. The competition is truly very stiff, and there will never be a shortage of talents.

No one is indispensable.